Having gotten over my fixation with Red Bull, finally, it is time to move on to phase 2. The date. So apparently the new hook-up, or at least new to me is OkCupid.com. I have to say that having done the paid eHarmony, and the free Craigslist, I find this to be a happy medium. I have had my profile up for two days now. Seen some interesting guys.
Today a biker dude ‘winked’ at me. I debated on what to do about it for a while. On one hand, it could be interesting. I can’t say I’ve ever met a real genuine tattooed Hells Angel and he looks like the real thing. Think of the stories I could tell!…the look on my mothers face as she hits the ground in a dead faint… the look on bosses face when I bring him to a work function… We all want the bad boy right?
I went on a read his profile. It was actually quite good. He sounds intelligent and somewhat interesting. Okay, so now I dig deeper. One of the questions that he would like his potential dates to answer, and I swear I’m not making this up, is ‘How do you feel about having sex with a person who is HIV positive.’ Stick a fork in me, I’m done!
Now before you leave the irate comments about how you can have a meaningful sexual relationship with a partner who is HIV positive, consider how you would react if your daughter/sister/friend came to you and said, ‘I just met a guy on the Internet that I want to go out with in the hope of establishing a meaningful relationship. Oh, and he’s HIV positive.’ I understand wanting to get everything out there up front, but there is something to be said for taking your time in self-disclosure. Some stuff really should be held back until you know someone a lot better. But that’s just my opinion.
The whole online dating thing can be so… laborious. The sad thing is that as a single person living in a metropolitan US city, it really is one of the most effective (note I did not say best) ways to meet a person of the opposite sex. It takes so much energy to generate a half hour date that you hope will be interesting enough that you want to see the person again. I have friends who love the whole online dating carousel. They honestly enjoy meeting new people. They embark on each new date with the perfect balance of optimism and realism, and they have the wonderful ability to shrug their shoulder philosophically and move on if the person they meet is a total jerk. I wish I could do that. However, as a friend of mine once said to me, ‘Everything with you is so high stakes!’ And to me, it really is.
So my new challenge is to stop tweaking and re-tweaking my profile and get out there! Wink at a few people and actually *gasp* send a few people a message. I can do this!… sort of… on Tuesday…
Image: Black Cupid – Fork by *NeoSlashott on deviantART
The Diva Chronicles 
As for me, I would definitely appreciate the HIV information front and center. No ill-will involved to those infected, but that just isn’t a road that I’d be willing to travel… I’d feel respected by anyone let me know the issue before I became emotionally involved. Anyway… nice blog!!
I agree with Melissa. It’s good to get the info early so you can decide if you want to go down that particular road. A lot of uninfected people wouldn’t. but some just might. He’s probably found someone that would. Also he may get someone who says “I’m HIV positive too”. He’s taking a chance and that’s a beautiful thing.
I want to clap for this decision! And for your being so open to it. I’m also one of those super high stakes people 🙂 so I get how this was not easy at all. I’m one of those that hate hate hate surprises and outcomes I cannot plan (how I cope with life itself is beyond my understanding 😀 ) and I want to be like those people too, those one who can shrug off a bad experience like it took nothing from them.