Catchy tune isnt it? People say it often. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Stronger? Poppycock! (I want to use stronger words but this is a PG forum. Feel free to insert your curse word of choice.) Stronger for what? Bearing more horrible things? No. And the next person who tells me that might get punched in the face. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
The truth is trials and hardships do equip you to deal with tough stuff later on. That is an inescapable fact of life. But lets stop pretending that bad stuff is some magical gift. If I gave you the option between building your character through something really, really awful, or just having stuff work out, which would you choose? Tough decision, huh?… NOT! Hard times do build up your ability to cope with difficult situations… not good times. Why cant we have more fun times to prepare us to handle the even more fun times? (Rhetorical question. Please don’t write me answers.)
I know that whether I look for them or not trials will find me, but here are a few things that haven’t killed me, but I refuse to be stronger for:
Rejection. Anyone who has done any amount of dating, in real life or online, knows rejection. Bless the boys because they can go from one girl to the next and shake rejection off like water from a ducks back. Are guys more resilient or is another drive stronger than the sting of rejection? I’m going to go with option number 2. Not to be down on the guys but I’ve seen girls run after rejection like its free ice cream. They just do it after they’ve fixed their attentions on a specific target. (Cue the Always Be My Baby stalker music).
I just want to be that girl who effortlessly meets her soul mate, falls in love, and has the fairy tale happy-ever-after. Having faced my fair share of rejection, I know it’s not going to happen that way, but a girl can dream. So am I stronger for all my rejections? Maybe wiser. A little more guarded. But I can tell you I am not chomping at the bit to experience the ultimate rejection that all the little rejections have been building me up for.
Cheating. Do we really need to elaborate on this? ‘Oh, he/she cheated on me so I’m so much better equipped to handle future infidelity.’ The only thing made stronger here is my right leg as I kick your butt out the door. It doesn’t kill you, but you might learn how to box.
Poverty. No. I refuse to embrace brokeness so that I can build the strength to be even broker. There is nothing noble about being poor. Don’t believe me? Ask a poor person. I think back to the days when I had to choose between putting gas in my car to go to work or buying food to eat. Stronger? Nope. That just puts a fire in my belly to work harder and hustle more so I never have to be that broke again.
Airport security lines. No matter how many times I’m stuck in line behind the family with four children under the age of 8 and their attending paraphernalia, I never get better at it for the next time around. If anything I’m even more crazed because I know what’s in store for me. Stronger? No. More prayerful? Yes. Please God don’t let me be on the same flight/section as them. To be fair, at least I can walk away from the situation. The poor frazzled parents are stuck. I wonder if they feel stronger?
The Real Housewives of anywhere/ Honey Boo Boo. How is there not a law banning any of these shows from being shown anywhere, ever? Even the clips on the Soup make me want to scream, and I didn’t have to watch more than 2 minutes. I have friends who love these shows, and I don’t judge them… much. But each time I get suckered into watching 7 minutes with them (I cannot endure more) I am tested in the extreme. Stronger? Maybe just enough to gouge out my own eyes so I don’t ever have to see this again.
I could go on, but I’m curious. What are some things you refuse to be stronger for? Let me know in comments.